“Everyone wants happiness, no one wants pain
But there won´t be sunshine without any rain.”
We all experience pain in our lives – even if we might wish and try to always stay happy and strong.
The last days of Ramadan (and also some after it) it was the topic that haunted me. That´s why it gonna be part of my Ramadan review (comming soon inshaa Allah). To not ruin the happy Ied atmosphere I postponed this thoughts a while (also because of exams).
This is not supposed to be “curhat” (no idea how to translate that) but I would like to share some experiences and insights because I think it´s a topic everyone has to handle with once in a while. And to be honest, at some moments I found it quiet hard to handle.
Sometimes we experience things that really hit us without being able to tell anyone. One thing I realized is, there are actually plenty of people we could tell and that care for us. Sometimes we are just to busy with being upset to see it. However you can´t expect them knowing how you feel because no one can read thoughts, also you can´t expect that they would ask you all the time. Besides it would be quiet annoying, they also have other things to do beside caring for your heartbreaks. So that´s one reason I rarely tell things: I don´t want to burden anyone with my problems because I know they have their own ones.
Secondly, even if they knew, even if everyone knew, could they give any straight solution? If you are stucking in a dilemma they definitly won´t, simply because dilemmata have no solutions (the perks of learning ethics).
“If there is no shoulder to lean on, there is still a ground to fall in sujood.” (izin quote orang)
The only one who will always listen to you, who won´t be burdened by your problems, pains and tears, the only one who can give you a solution, the best way out of your dilemma is Allah. So if you cry, cry to Allah. If the pain tears you down, fall in sujood, asking for sabr and that every tear you lose will erase a sin. Maybe Allah wants to see us on the ground to find us in sujood.
Pain is often seen as something negative. But to be honest, pain is simply a part life.
If you´ve never felt pain, you wouldn´t be able to appreciate all the graces given to you, the good moments and the happiness you feel. We only have to learn to handle it and to use it for something positive: To be more grateful – grateful for being alive, grateful for having a vivid heart that still can feel – and not a dead one that only pumps blood.
“Kadang kita nggak senang dengan suatu hal tapi hal itu baik untuk kita.
Kita nggak harus bahagia sepanjang waktu,
tapi sepanjang waktu itu, kita harus pernah bahagia.”
Sometimes we don´t like a thing but it is good for us. We don´t have to be happy all the time. But in all the time we must have been happy once.
No matter what Allah puts us through, there gonna be a hikmah (wisdom) behind it even if it might be hard to see in this moment.
“Allah does not burden an soul with more than it can bear.”
[Al Baqarah 2:286]
(A very powerful ayah with a beautiful dua in the end that I can really recommend to read, learn and to take to heart.)
There are two speeches by Nouman Ali Khan of the series “Amazed by the Quran” that cover the topic quiet well. The titels were “It´s okay to be sad” and “Don´t let sadness overwhelm you”.
Like Allah says in the Quran “And to your Lord is the final end (return), and that is He who granted Laughter and Tears” (An Najm 53:42-43).
Every sadness is temporay, like every joy is. And it is okay and essential to feel both as long as we are aware that in the end, every problem and every pleasure is a test given from Allah and it depends on how we handle it. If we accept it and make the best of it or if we let them carry us away from our duties and gratfulness towards life and towards Allah.
I would like to end with the ayah that I´ve already mentioned before instead of me explaining it, just read it your own:
“Allah does not burden any soul with more than it can bear. It gets every good that it earns and it suffers every ill that it earns. “Our Rabb! Do not punish us if we forget or make a mistake. Our Rabb! Do not place on us a burden as You placed on those before us. Our Rabb! Lay not on us the kind of burden that we have no strength to bear. Blot out our sins and grant us forgiveness and have mercy on us. You are our protector, help us against the people that deny the truth.”
[Al Baqarah 2:286]