How do you feel when you get to know that someone who is really important to you didn´t want to live anymore? When one of your best friends tells you that she´s thinking about suicide? When someone you spend almost every day with would almost not be around anymore if she hadn´t been saved of taking her own life?

When I was in fifth grade (I just changed from elementary to middle school) the head of school told us through the speaker that a girl in 11th or 12th grade, I can´t exactly remember, comitted suicide. Everyone was upset, the teacher talked with us about the event and about suicide in general. And they did this every in every class. I mean we were just 10/11 years old. Most of us probably not even knew what suicide was, we didn´t know the girl, if they hadn´t announced most of us probably had never known about her existence, even less that she killed herself. One classmate broke down into tears another disapeared and everyone was worried that she could´nt stand because her mother comitted suicide a few years ago. In the end she accompanied a friend to the emergency room that didn´t feel well. But she was absolutly FINE!

A few things that I learned out of this event ist hat you shouldn´t exaggerate even though something bad happened and something it might be even better not to tell everyone about it, especially not to repeat it a hundred times because it only increases the panic, the stress. You should be careful and selective. Of course it ist he easiest way to tell everyone at once instead of only picking the one to whom it may be important.

Today we feel so close to every single catastrophy happening in the world even if we don´t have a single connection to it. In last few weeks or you can even say days happened several cruel, shocking things, a man killled people in a train with an axe, another run amok a shot people in a shopping center. Numberoues places are bombed, terrorsim, amok, at the end I would all put in into one: some psychological lacks. This people have problems somehow. And while everyone bewildered because of their behavior I can only feel sorry. How worse has it tob e to being in such a psychological state that you even think about killing people within yourself.

The reason I write this is because I started to really think about this topic, about suicide. No, not that I ever, ever thought about doing it to myself. But when you are confronted with a topic in sour close environment and in society as well you just start thinking about it. Not that someone I know had (achieved to) kill hisself. But anyway yout think how people get this far. I know several people who suffer depressions and you hear about it all the time. I can´t remember the number of how many people yearly commit suicide, I only know that I was really shocked about it. Often bulying, problems in school, at work, in the family or personal problems in general are stated as the reasons. I guess they play an important role and may be sthe trigger but in my opinion the main problem is the purposelessness. I mean for what do you live if there is nothing you work for? For what do you walk if you have no goal to reach? For what to you wake up if there is nothing you look forward to? This phenomena is nothing that only conserns people in the state of depression but what you can see so often in society nowadays. I see it everyday. And this is something that makes me really upset. You can live a hundred years but for what if there is no purpose to it?

I could tell more stories about people getting to psychiatry, to hospital, divorce because of depression. But I want to end with something positive: that I am so grateful to know what I am living for, maybe not in detail but I know where may way finally leds to, where I want to arrive. We as muslims can be grateful that Allah takes the burden of tus to question where this life leads to. It leads to death (ok, that doesn´t sound so positive). But we know that it is not this life, not the dunya we have to focus on, but what comes after. Allah gives us even advices how we make the best out of our lives. We only have to understand them, work to realize them. Of course it is not easy, most times it´s not. But it is not about being perfect, at least you try. Ok enough of curhat. I hope you get at least a little of the sense what I want to tell you with this weird entry.

Salam and stay tuned!

PS: I am so sorry that the first real post has to be about such a depressing topic but it´s something that just had to get out of me.



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